Computers
If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0.A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Physics is the universe’s operating system.
Life would be so much easier if we only had the source code.
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Microsoft: You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips.
I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly.
Better to be a geek than an idiot.
Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC.
IBM = I Buy Macintosh
The world will end in five minutes. Please log out.
WARNING: Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue.
Hit any user to continue.
Miscellaneous
I'm not late. Everybody else is simply early.You forgot to say please.
Do you always begin conversations this way?
I know kung fu.
Why don't you try that again, without the oops?
Smile bigger if you're gonna fake it.
I'm afraid you're just too darn loud.
Movies
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.Somebody sat on me again.
We never rush, we hasten.
We have so much time, and so little to do! Strike that, reverse it.
So shines a good deed in a weary world.
A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men.
The suspense is terrible . . . I hope it'll last.
You should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about.
I'm sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing.
Come quietly, or there will be trouble.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.
That's a wig. Wig! Wig!
You do plan to have dinosaurs on your dinosaur tour, right?
Stop trying to hit me and hit me!
He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny!
Neopets Related
A Yurble stole my cinnamon roll!Meow.
Caution: Quills may be sharp.
teh 1337est n00zpaper.
White Weewoos don't exist. *shifty eyes* .
Run! The Kookiths Are Coming!
Stand behind yer sheriff
There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots
And, with pizza and laughter, they lived happily ever after.
Up-to-date coverage on faerie wars
Sanity is forbidden
Preparing Neopia for the Meepits
The Meepits are coming, the Meepits are coming.
Come dance with the gypsies...
The most fantastic thing in the universe!
Reporting live from Neopia
A Waffle Paradise
Still thwarting Sloth's mind control...
Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way
Battle Quills... ready!
Now with 50% more useless text
The inside scoop on Jelly W-argh! *choke*
The inside scoop on Jelly W-argh! *choke*
Still thwarting Sloth's mind control...
Invisible Paint Brushes rock
Famous People
Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
-Winston Churchill
It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
-
Walt Disney
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.
-H.L. Mecken
Mass hypnosis. In a very orthodox form known as 'education'
-Robert Pirsing
Smile first thing in the morning, go ahead and get it over with
-Jane Seabrook
Wise enough to know better, old enough to care less.
-Tom Shay
Blame someone else and get on with your life.
-Alan Woods
Don't dedicate your insanity!
-Yuhi
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
-Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
-Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.
"Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
-Budapest Zoo sign
"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."
-Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
-Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice.
"These people haven't seen the last of my face. If I go down, I'm going down standing up."
-Chuck Person, NBA Basketball player
"Most lies about blondes are false."
-Cincinnati Times-Star, headline
"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
"There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people"
David Coleman, Sportscaster
"Sit by the homely girl, you'll look better by comparison."
Debra Maffett, Miss America 1983
"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing."
Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.
"Yes, maam? Right here, this lady. No, she! Yes, right, second row. Next to the guy in the blue shirt, holding her left hand up. It's a he? Sorry about that. Gotta be careful. I'm very sorry. Go ahead! I'm, excuse me, I'm very sorry. Go, ah, I, a thousand apologies, go ahead."
George Bush Sr., Former U.S. President, at a press conference
"It is white."
George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London
"And now, will y'all stand and be recognized."
Gib Lewis, Texas Speaker of the House, to a group of people in wheelchairs on Disability Day
"The world is less violent when you're using hula hoops."
-Mikey Way
"I'm sick of my face. But I'm allowed to be sick of my face, because it's my fucking face!"
-Gerard Way
"Be quiet, Brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip"
-Homer Simpson
